Forget
It’s got me,
dragging me down
into the deep, the chaos
to where there is no light,
no breath, no sound

the lethal clutch of seductively
swirling black fingers pushing
towards the spiral which
is entry to forgetfulness
and extinction

**********************************************
Mask
The Mask is off
Cocooned in fluid - floating in
warm and total protection
(protection from what?)
Conducting a soft comfortable dialogue with myself
Not going anywhere, nowhere to go
Just a chat about his and that
no urgency, no timetable, no clock
no dimension of time
just limitless inner spaces of deepest silence
a strong flowing river old and learned
without beginning, without ending just being
sitting in the tranquil centre
unvisited by emotions
alone yet utterly complete
I carry this sac being both
embryo and mother-carrier
moving around surroundered by this watery buffer zone
not self conscious and rather easy in my movements
unaware of others - mere outlines and shadows
existing at the corner of my eye
I hear the message but bounce it away from me
it has nothing to do with me, so it doesn’t stay
healing and fecundity creation and regeneration
any mortal would freeze at such magic
a rhythym of seasons and timeliness
I will know when the healing is finished
and the child will be born at the appointed time.

**************************************************************************
Baby
Child of fragile reconciliation
formed by confusion, doubt, dark longing
appearing now through the torn fabric of uneasy alliance
what will be your destiny.
How will you
breathe your breath, cry your pain, accumulate blessings.
Will you be the Mender of breaks
and tears in the fabric of two players
who in loving cannot love and in caring will not remember
the fragments of memories deeply hidden.

What questions are you here to answer
what questions are you here to create.
World-old questions left too long without resolution.
But rest easy there will always be another turn of the wheel
and the question will then be seen from another view.
***********************************************************************
My mother
I see her in my mirror
dissecting rearranging my parts
her way
crushing them with black fate
destroying by circumstance
lifeless helpless mute

Standing framed by the doorway
(eternally disappointed)
fragile in blue
black blue bruises broken brittle bones
deeply scoured eroded ravines of deformity
her body, our life

I reach out to gather her in to comfort
to fill her void with affection -
with recognition of her life
to whisper
there is no monster now
only a mother,
But she pushes me away.
**************************************************************************

MY HERITAGE
My grandfathers house was close to the sea and
Called by the ocean, he sailed incessantly
returning like Ulysees to the island where his Penelope waited
only to beget another child on her.

hard and barren walike the
The walk from my grandfathers house to the sea
is HOT sharp stony and dusty.

I walk now from the house to the sea
for one used to
the smoothness and green (and ease) of
cities and individuals

The wind sighs through my hair
blowing my thoughts elsewhere
Back to where sharp boundaries
mark personal territories and
private goals diminish community.

***********************************************************************************
Gary
Lost inside a maze
of fear.
Not trusting anyone, not even
to hear
what is good about me and
which is the way home.

Too many bewilderments
and whys
of father, mother, leader
authority figures
that bind me into submission
and weighted in despair.

Looking for love and warmth
and success.
How am I to find them ...
out there...
Does someone have a map,
a horoscope, a magic potion?

Does anybody know who I am
Do I?
Behind my walls of deception
and self hate
will anyone venture... will I?
What is it I’m afraid of?????